My Imaginary Friend
by SiddaCullen
Summary: They told me he wasn't real. He was a figment of my imagination. Yet he came to me every night, held me, touched me, and told me everything was going to be okay. And I believed him. He was the only thing good in my hellish world. Then my world fell apart.
1. My Prince Charming

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I own nothing.**

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><p><strong>Prologue: My Prince Charming<strong>

The cold hardwood stairs creaked underneath her bare feet. The small girl tiptoed upstairs so as to not wake up her father. He'd just passed out on the couch in front of the TV, an empty beer can in one hand, the remote control for the television in the other. A rerun of some football game was playing on the television in the far left corner of the living room. The girl put the TV on mute so it wouldn't wake her father up. As she neared the top of the landing she looked back at her father in the dark room.

His black wife beater clung tightly to his overweight body with beer stains scattered in random places. His ratty jeans fell down far enough that his butt crack was visible near the top. He hadn't shaved in days, at least. Black stubble grew all around the lower half of his face. His matching black hair was growing long and hung from his head in short, greasy strands. It almost reached his shoulder but fell a few inches short.

The little girl turned away and scurried to her room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Despite all that happened that day, she couldn't help the small smile that spread across her face as she hurried to the small rectangular mirror on top of her vanity. As she sat down, her eyes sprang automatically to the 4 x 6 crinkled up photo of her mother in the top right corner.

She picked up the brush that had once belonged to her mother and started running it through her messy dark brown hair. It was difficult because her hair was getting long and almost unmanageable. She wanted to ask her father if they could go and get it cut, but she didn't want him to get mad. He always yelled at her every time she opened her mouth. Sometimes not even then.

So the little girl did the best she could with it. Her hair looked nowhere near as pretty as it did after her mother brushed it, but it couldn't be helped. She just hoped it would be good enough.

For him.

She couldn't help her blush.

Once her hair was brushed she turned her attention to her nightgown. She'd made sure it didn't get dirty earlier when she'd been cleaning the house. She kept it dry when she did the dishes. She kept the dust off when she tidied up the living room. And she made sure she didn't get grease on it when she'd fixed her father a grilled cheese for dinner.

It was her favorite nightgown because it made her feel like a princess. And it was also Edward's favorite nightgown.

He always called her a princess. She was his sweet girl. For a few hours, anyway. And then he would do what he always did: leave through her bedroom window into the night.

He would never tell her where he went. He'd only tell her that he had to go but that he would be back the next night to keep her company.

But tonight she would finally do it. She would ask him if she could go with him.

He knew about her life here. He knew about her father and her mother. He always talked about how much she would like it where he was from. But whenever she asked about it, he would change the subject. It was frustrating.

The little girl twirled in a circle, causing her ankle length nightgown to twirl around her. She liked feeling dizzy. The world went away and became nothing more than a confusing blur. It felt like an escape from reality, which was what the girl yearned for more than anything else.

A soft knock at the window stopped the girl's movements. Slightly flustered, the girl hurried over to the window and unlocked it. She couldn't have stopped the wide smile that spread across her face as she saw the familiar figure at the window. He flew in the moment the window was wide enough and stood perfectly still in the center of her bedroom.

He was very much the essence of a prince in his tailored black suit, polished black shoes and thick bronze hair. And he was tall. Extremely tall. But the girl's favorite part about him was his eyes. They were the same color as his hair. They were wide and...beautiful.

"Edward!" the girl exclaimed and rushed over to hug him, or rather, his legs as they were the only part of him that she could reach.

The tall man known as Edward squatted down and pulled her into his chest for a tight hug.

"Hey, Bella. Long time no see," he joked as he gently stroked her hair.

Bella closed her eyes as the feeling of safety once again embraced her. It made her forget her father and everything else about her life. It made her feel as though the entire world consisted of just her and Edward. Everything else evaporated into nothingness.

"You saw me last night," Bella teased softly. She rested her head against Edward's rock hard chest.

"And how have you been since then?"

Edward scooped the little girl up in his arms and carried her over to her bed. He didn't tuck her into the pink sheets, which she was happy about. She wanted to stay in his arms where it was safe and warm.

Bella leaned into him, hoping he would get the hint not to let her go. He seemed to understand as he sat down on the bed with her cradled in his lap. She smiled, never wanting this moment to last. She wanted to stay with him forever.

"I missed you," he whispered into her ear.

"I missed you, too."

They remained like that for a while, choosing to bask in each other's company rather than fill the silence with small talk. They were past that stage now. Bella closed her eyes and tried to imagine a life with Edward, one away from her drunk father and Cinderella life. Edward was her Prince Charming, the one in the movies that always came to the rescue. Edward was _her _rescue.

She hoped that one day he would see it.

"Are you tired, Bella?" Edward's velvet voice was like a lullaby on a quiet night. He continued to stroke her hair soothingly with her head tucked underneath his.

"No."

Edward chuckled. It was the most beautiful sound the little girl ever heard. "You're a bad liar."

"I'm not," Bella repeated stubbornly. If he thought she was tired then he might leave. He couldn't leave; not until she asked him her question.

"It's okay if you are, beautiful girl. I'll stay with you for a while. You're safe as long as I'm here."

Bella smiled again at his words, but didn't want to fall asleep. That would only make morning come that much sooner.

"I'm awake, Edward. Please stay with me." She hoped that she sounded grown up. Kids were never taken as seriously as grown ups.

"Always, love," Edward murmured into her ear. "I'll always stay with you."

Tears unexpectedly sprang from her eyes. She wiped them away unconsciously, not wanting Edward to see, but it was too late. He pulled her up gently so that she was sitting upright on her bed.

"Have I said something?" he asked worriedly. Bella had never seen him so concerned. It made her uneasy.

"No," she said hastily. "I wasn't crying."

Edward cocked an eyebrow at her. "Remember what I said about lying and how you're bad at it? Please tell me, Bella."

Bella looked away, ashamed. "You...you said that you would always stay with me."

"And I meant it," Edward replied.

Bella shook her small head. She knew she would sound silly to him.

"Please, Bella," Edward said again, putting his finger underneath her chin, tilting her head so that she would look at him. It wasn't the way her father did it. Edward was gentle and careful. "Tell me."

The little girl sighed. "That was what Mommy said. And then she went away."

She didn't have the courage to look at him. She knew that he would laugh and say that she was silly for believing her. That was what her father said. He said that her mother was brazen and rash and did 'whatever the hell she wanted with no regard for her family.'

And then he would hit her in his rage.

Bella tensed up, ready for the blow, but it didn't come. Confused, she looked up at Edward. Her eyes widened at the pained expression on his face.

"Do you think that I'll leave you one day?" Edward asked. His voice was so soft that Bella wasn't even sure he'd spoken.

Bella shrugged. She really did not want to think about that. Her father said that people would always leave her and that it was inevitable. She didn't know what inevitable meant, but she didn't dare ask him.

"Answer me, Bella. Do you really think I'm going to leave you? I meant it when I said that I would always be with you. I'm not going anywhere." He sounded so sure that Bella looked up.

"You promise?" The little girl's voice was little more than a hopeful whisper. Her bottom lip quivered with the strain of trying not to cry. If she did then Edward wouldn't think she was beautiful anymore.

Edward's hand was now on her cheek. Bella leaned into his touch, loving how safe he made her feel. "Yes, beautiful girl. I mean it."

Bella wrapped her arms around Edward's middle. She was suddenly very elated and hopeful that maybe he would say yes when she asked him her question. "I love you, Edward."

"I love you, too, beautiful girl."

Bella smiled again and hugged him even harder. She never wanted to let go. He was her safe place, her bodyguard. Nothing bad would ever happen to her as long as he was here with her.

She lost track of the time as she always did and soon enough she felt him shift underneath her as he got off the bed. She followed suit, pausing when he performed his goodbye ritual of kissing her on the top of her head and jumping to her window.

"Goodbye, love," he whispered and when he was about to jump out of the window, Bella sprang into action.

"Edward, wait!" she cried.

Edward turned around to look at her, surprised. "What, Bella?"

"Take me with you."

Edward frowned, looking confused. Bella took advantage of his silence and hastily explained.

"I hate it here. Daddy is always mean to me. He's always yelling at me and calling me names. Sometimes he hits me. Look." She rolled up her right sleeve and showed him the ugly black bruise forming on her upper arm.

Before Bella could blink Edward was off the window sill with her arm in his hand. He was glaring at the mark as though it had personally wronged him.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" he demanded, not sounding at all like her Edward. He sounded angry and it scared her.

"I...I was afraid to," she admitted shyly.

"Please, Bella," Edward pleaded softly. "You don't ever have to be afraid of me. I'll never do anything to hurt you. I promise."

Bella nodded, shrugging out of Edward's grip. She tugged her sleeve back down, trying not to wince at the pain.

"I'll be back tomorrow night. In the meantime, imagine that I am with you, watching over you and protecting you. As long as you do that, you won't ever have to be afraid," he whispered, stroking her hair once more.

Then he was back at the window.

"Edward!" she exclaimed desperately before she remembered that her father was still downstairs. She couldn't have him waking up. "Take me with you."

Immediately the pain was back in Edward's eyes. Bella couldn't understand why. What was wrong?

"I wish I could. But it's not the place for you. At least not yet."

"But why? Why can't I go with you?"

"Because, Bella. It's not safe. I can't explain why. Just please trust me," he said.

Bella frowned, hurt. "Please. Take me with you!"

Edward sighed. "I will. One day. When it's safe for you."

"It is safe for me! Please, Edward! You said you'd always stay with me! But you always leave! Just like Mommy."

Bella was screaming now, but she didn't really care. Usually it took banging a bunch of pots and pans in his ear to get him to wake up after he drank himself to sleep. She crossed her arms, pouting.

"I promise, Bella, that I will come back tomorrow night, and the night after that, and the night after that. There won't be a night when I won't come. And one day I will take you with me. When you're older. Not tonight. You just have to be patient. Can you do that for me, beautiful girl? Can you be patient?" Edward asked.

Bella kept her arms crossed, hoping that maybe it would change his mind. She only nodded in reluctant assertion when Edward remained silent, waiting for her agreement.

"Good girl. I promise I'll be back. Be brave, little one."

And then he was gone.


	2. My Safe Haven

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I own nothing.**

**A/N: This chapter was a little later than I wanted it. It didn't come out the way I wanted because we're still laying the foundation. It'll pick up with the next chapter. Please review! Big thank you's to those of you who did! BTW, _Bella and the Beast _should be updated sometime this week.**

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><p><strong> One: My Safe Haven<strong>

**Thirteen Years Later**

"Okay, Bella. Let's go over this one more time. Did you hear me? Bella?"

The seventeen year old girl sitting nervously on the green plush sofa in the center of the room looked into the stone cold eyes of the therapist in front of her. She supposed the blue orbs had been beautiful once, before the effects of stress and the demands of the job kicked in. The bags under her eyes indicated more than one night's bad sleep. Her neatly pressed black dress suit fit perfectly on her slender body. Her frizzy red hair was in tight bun on top of her head.

Nothing about her said carefree or fun.

"Bella?" The woman asked again, more impatiently. "Did you hear me?"

Bella nodded once, but she didn't want to go into the story again. This woman, like everyone else in her life, thought she was crazy. She didn't know how repeating it would make that any less likely. Nothing Bella said would change anybody's opinion of her.

Bella sighed heavily. "You mean Edward?"

"Yes, Bella. Tell me about Edward," the woman replied. Her face looked strained, like she was doing her best to suppress an eye roll.

Bella looked down at her feet and began wringing her hands. Edward wouldn't like her talking about him to random strangers. He was angry enough that her father and everyone else thought she was crazy. He didn't talk about the fact that Bella was ignorant enough to bring him up in conversations, and she was grateful for it.

"I don't know what to say," she admitted grudgingly, looking at her lap.

"Why don't you tell me how you two first met," the therapist suggested. She uncrossed her legs and recrossed them, balancing her clipboard in her lap. "What were the circumstances in which Edward came to you?"

Bella shrugged. She honestly couldn't remember. He had always been there with her for as long as she could remember. She couldn't imagine a life without Edward, and she didn't want to.

She told the therapist as such.

"Edward is family. He's always been there for me. I don't know what I'd do without him," Bella said in what she hoped to be in a final sort of way.

The therapist visibly tried to hide her sigh. "Bella. Surely you understand that a man only you can see is a little...well, imaginary friends are perfectly normal with children. Given all that you've been through, it's understandable that you may have regressed a bit."

"Regressed?"

"You know. Everything that happened with your father...you may have taken a few steps back to a more innocent time in your life that is helping you to deal with all that's happened. Edward was you childhood imaginary friend that you have brought back as a coping mechanism," the therapist hastily explained, as though this answer should have been obvious to the teenage girl sitting in front of her.

Bella stared at her, disbelieving. "You're saying that I'm making him up?"

"Honestly, Bella? Yes. Edward is nothing more than a figment of your imagination. It's my job to help you to come to terms with all that has happened during this past month and to help you move forward." The therapist took off her glasses and leaned forward in her seat to meet Bella's eyes. "But in order to do that, you need to accept that Edward is _not _real."

Bella frowned, confused. "But he is real."

"Then why can't anyone else see him? We spoke with your father the other day. He said he used to hear you in your room from time to time. He said he would hear you talking, as if to someone else, but there was no one else in the room," the therapist replied. Bella could tell she was trying not to scream at her.

"Edward has a soft voice."

"He never saw or heard anyone entering or exiting your house."

"Well he wouldn't, would he?" Bella shot back. "He spent half the night passed out on the damn couch!"

"Watch your language around me."

"Look," Bella said. She hoped that using reason would help her sound less crazy. She was already fighting the urge to call for Edward just to prove that she _wasn't _crazy, but she knew that wouldn't really help her case. "Edward is real. I've seen him my whole life. My father was a drunk who could never remember anything that happened last week. It would've been only too easy for there to have been someone else in the house without him noticing. As you know, Charlie wasn't exactly father of the year."

"So you're saying that Edward was someone you were sneaking into your house for the better part of fourteen years?" The therapist sounded condescending now.

Bella sighed. "No. He comes in through the window."

The therapist rubbed the bridge of her nose. She was making her frustration well known now. "I'm trying to help you. But you're making it very difficult. Why don't we leave it at that for now and maybe tomorrow you'll feel like cooperating."

Bella watched as the woman stood up and walked over to her desk. It was only then that Bella saw her brown nameplate. Victoria Wilson.

Bella stood up and followed Victoria Wilson out of the office. There were a handful of people sitting in the lobby; some read magazines or books, others just sat there with their arms crossed, looking like they had better things to do than talk about their problems to a stranger. Bella empathized.

She reluctantly walked over to the man in the wheelchair, parked in the corner of the room closest to the door. Billy Black looked about as happy to be there as she did. When he saw her approaching, he plastered on a fake smile. Bella reluctantly managed to give him one of her own.

"How'd it go?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

Bella shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Bella shook her head. "No, not really."

Billy smiled grimly and nodded. "Okay. Let's go home."

As they walked out of the building towards the parking lot, Bella couldn't help but think that home was a relative term.

**_~O~_**

The Blacks were old family friends of the Swans. Billy was Charlie's best man when Charlie and Renee, Bella's mother, got married. After Charlie was arrested, Billy stepped up to take Bella in. Bella was grateful despite the fact that she hadn't spoken to him much. She knew that his wife, Sarah, had been killed a while back in a car accident. His two daughters no longer lived with him, but his son Jacob still did.

Billy pulled into the driveway and stopped the car. Bella got out almost robotically, stepping out slowly and slamming the door shut behind her. She walked around back to help her new guardian get into his wheelchair but Jacob had beaten her to it. Billy was settling into the chair when Bella caught sight of the two of them. When Jacob saw Bella he offered her a shy smile.

"Hey, Bella. How...How'd it go?" he asked.

Bella shrugged then turned to head inside the house. She wasn't in a very talkative mood. She never was after her visits to the therapist. Instead she hurried into the house and went upstairs to her room.

It looked nothing like her old room back at Charlie's house. Technically it wasn't her room since it had once been Rebecca Black's room, one of Billy's twin daughters. When Bella first came to the house, Billy welcomed her to decorate the room however she wanted, but Bella hardly touched anything. She didn't think Rebecca would like the thought of a strange girl invading her childhood home and messing with her things. Bella knew if their roles were reversed, she wouldn't.

She slammed the door shut, the anger of her little talk with Victoria Wilson finally catching up with her. Who the hell did she think she was, talking to her like that? She never met Edward, so how could she possibly say that he wasn't real? Who was _anybody _to say he wasn't real?

She wanted so much to see Edward, but she would have to wait until later that night. He never visited during the day. She needed to see him and tell him all about what had transpired.

A knock at the door caused Bella to jump, startling her out of her thoughts. "Bella? Dinner will be in about ten minutes. Want me to tell you when it's ready?" It was Jacob. Was it Bella's imagination, or did he actually sound concerned?

"No. I'll be down," Bella replied hastily, hoping he wouldn't be in the mood to chat.

"Okay..." he sounded unsure. Bella fervently wished that he would go away. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine," Bella snapped, not intending to sound so harsh. "Thanks."

"Okay." Jacob's footsteps gradually grew dim as they retreated downstairs.

Bella sighed in relief. _Finally _she could be alone.

_**~O~**_

Bella's eyes snapped open at the soft knock at her window. She jumped out of bed and went to unlock the latch. Edward breezed inside easily, gliding at a speed that caused him to look like nothing more than a blur. Bella smiled at the sight. It was such a welcome, familiar sight that tears nearly sprang to her eyes at the comfort it brought her.

"Hello, love," Edward whispered in his usual greeting, kissing Bella on her forehead.

Bella closed her eyes and let the feeling of his lips on her skin wash over. "Hi."

"How was it today?" Edward asked as he went to sit on the edge of her bed. Bella didn't need him to clarify what he was talking about.

"Awful." She walked over to sit next to him and rested her head on his upper arm. She was always surprised at how hard and stone-like it was. It made her feel even smaller than she already was, but she didn't mind it. She always felt safe whenever he was around.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Edward reached up to tuck a loose strand of her dark brown hair behind her ear.

Bella sighed. "It'll just make you angry."

Edward laughed his cool, crisp laugh. "Nothing you can say will ever make me angry. Whatever it was, I can take it. I promise."

Bella hesitated. She knew that he would want to know how her visit with the therapist went, but she hadn't expected him to bring it up so soon. Couldn't they forget about her life for a minute? Couldn't he be satisfied by just being with her?

"They...the therapist told me that you...that I sorta made you up," Bella admitted. She was too ashamed to look at him as she spoke.

To her surprise, Edward seemed more amused than upset. "What else did she say?"

"Nothing much. Just that my seeing you was a result of everything that happened with Charlie. She said that I was regressing, going back to the imaginary friend stage to help me cope with everything stressful that's been going on," Bella explained.

Edward put his index finger underneath her chin and brought it up so that she was looking at him in his eyes. "Is that what you believe, beautiful girl?"

"Of course not!" Bella was affronted. "I've been seeing you long before my situation with Charlie became serious! I see you every night. You climb through my window, you touch me, kiss me..." Bella blushed unintentionally at that last part. "How could I have imagined anyone even half as beautiful as you?"

"Bella..." Edward sighed and wrapped his arms around her in a comforting gesture. "You know how much you mean to me. I hate that you're suffering like this. If it were possible, I'd go to your therapy sessions and prove to everyone that you're a healthy, normal girl. I want so badly to take you away from all this."

"Then do it." Bella looked up at him hopefully. She could see in his eyes that he'd hoped this topic wouldn't be brought up.

"You know I can't, love. Not yet."

"But you always say that," Bella replied, hating how desperate she sounded. "Why can't you? What's out there that could possibly be worse than all _this?" _She gestured around her.

Edward sighed. "I want to, Bella. I want to more than anything. But the timing isn't right. If I were to take you now, it would prove to everyone that their reasons for being concerned were justified."

"I don't care!" Bella exclaimed.

"I do," Edward murmured, holding her close to him. He began stroking her hair, as he had done so many times before. It made it hard for her to stay mad at him, and he knew it. "I want you to be happy, love. But now is not the time. It's not safe for you where I come from. I wouldn't be able to protect you as much as I can here."

Bella looked down, feeling more helpless than ever. "I hate it here," she whispered into his chest.

"I know, beautiful girl. And one day, I'm going to take you away from it, if that's what you want. But not yet. Please trust me on this."

Bella didn't answer. She didn't have the strength to fight with him anymore. She didn't want to. His visits were too precious to waste. For now she was content to let him hold her, stroke her hair, and whisper in her ear how much he loved and cared about her.

Eventually- Bella wasn't sure if she'd fallen asleep in Edward's arms or if she'd simply lost track of the time- Edward gently lifted her off his lap and stood up. "Time for me to go, love."

"No. Please. Stay just a little longer." Bella knew it was pointless to plead with him, but she kept hoping that maybe one day he would change his mind and say yes.

"I can't, Bella. You know that," he said, sounding amused. Bella could see his lips curled in a lovely smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow though, right?"

"Of course, love. Keep your window open," he said. He leaned down to kiss the top of her head then without another word he jumped onto the windowsill and was gone.

Bella waited for a second, hoping pointlessly that Edward would change his mind and come back. When he didn't, she reluctantly closed the window, shivering at the cold air, then crawled into bed, wiping away the stray tears from her cheek.


	3. My Best Friend

**2. **

"Bella?" Jacob's voice filtered in through the closed door the following morning.

Bella didn't reply. She kept her eyes firmly closed and pulled her comforter up close to her chin. _Go away. Please go away. _

"Bella? Dad says you need to get up. Breakfast will be ready in ten minutes." Soft footsteps retreating from her door told her that Jacob left.

She rolled onto her other side. She didn't want breakfast. She didn't want to get up. The comfort of a bed, even if it wasn't hers, was too much to walk away from. And she knew what would be waiting for her once she got up. Concerned looks from Billy, impatience from Jacob, and an endless amount of questions asking her if she would be okay. They were wasting their breath. She would never be okay. Not without him.

It felt like Edward had left so abruptly last night. Like he'd stopped by just to reassure himself that she was still there. Bella had been left feeling lonelier than before. Didn't he know that was how she felt every time they were apart?

The ache in her chest grew as she thought about last night. Edward had held her in his arms as she'd cried. It had felt so _real. _So unimagined. How could they tell her Edward didn't exist? That she'd made him up? How could they? She could still feel the cool touch of his arms around her shoulders. She could hear his soft, silky voice whisper words of comfort in her ear. Her only regret was that the moment hadn't lasted longer.

Bella could have spent the rest of the day lying in bed, thinking about Edward and waiting for his return. But after some time had passed-she wasn't sure how much-Billy's voice floated upstairs from the kitchen.

"Bella, your breakfast is getting cold."

She didn't care. It would be no matter to her if she never ate again. But she didn't want Billy or Jacob to come upstairs and get her, so she forced herself out of bed. She pulled on the white bathrobe that had once been her mother's, and then opened her bedroom door and trudged down to the kitchen.

Billy smiled warmly when he noticed her standing in the doorway. "Good morning Bella. Sleep well?"

Bella forced herself to nod. It was only when her guardian indicated for her to sit that she walked over to the kitchen table by the far wall. Jacob was already halfway through his plate of bacon and eggs. He barely looked up as she sat down across from him. She picked up her fork but didn't move to eat.

If Billy noticed he pretended not to. "So Bella, do you have any plans for today?" he asked as he sat down beside Jacob with his plate. She noticed that he gave himself more food than her and Jacob.

_Like what? _Bella thought. She shook her head, hoping to convey that she didn't have plans, except to be left alone.

"Oh, okay." Billy sounded happy as he turned to his son. "Maybe it would be a good day to show Bella the beach. You were headed up there, right?"

Jacob looked up at Bella and nodded eagerly, as though he'd forgotten this plan. "Yeah, sure. Do you want to go?"

Billy and Jacob looked at her, their eyebrows nearly reaching their hairline in expectation. They both looked so hopeful. She looked down at her plate and took a bite of bacon to give herself a reason not to answer right away. She wanted to tell them that going to the beach was the last thing on her mind, but she didn't want either of them to think she was depressed or moody. Billy would just think that he was right to send her to a therapist, and all she wanted to do was get out of that. And maybe this would be a good way to get them off her back and to stop worrying about her so much.

Finally, after a minute, Bella nodded and forced herself to nod at Jacob. "Okay."

Jacob smiled wider. "Great. We'll head out as soon as you're ready."

Bella nodded and finished her bacon. It had gotten cold but she didn't care. She wasn't hungry much these days. The three of them spent the rest of breakfast under an awkward silence that none of them seemed eager to break. Jacob was the first one to get up. He put his empty plate in the sink and went upstairs without a word. Bella quickly followed. She glanced at Billy, wondering if he would say anything about her half-eaten plate but he didn't. She scraped the uneaten eggs into the garbage and put her plate on top of Jacob's. Then she hurried upstairs to her room.

She quickly rummaged around in her closet and pulled out a light blue tank top. In her drawer she found a pair of shorts. She dressed then ran a brush through her tangled brown hair. Once she put on her Converse and brushed her teeth she was ready.

Not wanting to knock on Jacob's door, she decided to wait for him in the living room. Once she sat down on the plush white sofa she pulled her phone out of her pocket, knowing it was pointless. There was no one back in Seattle who would text her. She'd never had many friends besides Edward.

Before she could dwell too much on that thought Jacob came bounding down the stairs. He grinned at Bella and didn't seem put off when she did not return it. "Ready to go?"

Bella nodded and followed him out to the driveway. Jacob practically ran to his precious car, the Rabbit. It had been his pet project ever since he'd started working on cars. Mechanics was his passion, and Bella wanted to smile at his enthusiasm. Instead she twitched her lip in what probably looked more like a grimace.

"Have you ever been to La Push?" he asked as soon as they were both in.

"No," Bella replied.

It was obvious Jacob had been looking to start a conversation. For a moment Bella felt guilty but it didn't last long. They'd been best friends once, before Renee left and Charlie moved them to the city. She knew from Billy's stories that they used to play everywhere they could, from the sandbox in the park to the kitchen. But they hadn't been able to return to that friendship when she'd moved in, and she knew it was her fault.

Jacob started the car. A long, tense silence followed them the whole way. Every so often Bella would steal a glance in his direction but quickly looked away when Jacob caught her eye. Eventually he turned on the radio and the rest of the drive was spent listening to rock music.

When they got to the beach Jacob parked the car and got out. He was about to run to meet up with a group of guys from the reservation when he remembered Bella, who hadn't even unbuckled her seat belt.

"Are you coming?" he asked. Bella detected a hint of impatience in his tone.

She fought off her sarcastic comment and nodded instead. "Yeah." One word answers were apparently all she was able to say.

When Bella finally got out of the car she walked over to stand beside Jacob, crossing her arms uncomfortably. "So, what did you want to do?"

Jacob bit his lip and glanced at the others who had started a game of volleyball. "Well, I was going to join them. Did you want to play?"

Bella shook her head and glanced at the boys, who were yards away. One of them, a particularly tall boy who looked no older than seventeen, had just spiked the ball on the opposite side of the net and was currently getting chest slapped by his teammates. She winced and looked back at Jacob. "No, that's okay. I can just watch."

"Are you sure?" Jacob didn't look too sure.

"Yes. Please don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine."

Then, to make her point, Bella turned and began walking over to the beach. Jacob hurried to catch up to her. "If you get bored, just tell me. I can hang out with you if you want."

Bella shrugged. "I'll be fine," she repeated. "Just go play."

As Jacob nodded and hurried to join his friends, Bella watched and couldn't help but wonder how it became so awkward between them. There had been a time when she and Jacob had been best friends. It had been a long time ago, but she still remembered playing in the mud, building mud castles and chasing each other around for what could've been hours. There had never been any tense moments, awkward silences, or discomfort between them. Now they were lucky if they could have a conversation that lasted more than a few minutes.

Bella settled herself on a large rock a few feet away from the game and watched as Jacob took the volleyball and served it. The ball went from one side to the other and it didn't seem like it would ever end.

Then a shorter boy with thick, dark wavy hair missed the ball and it plunged to the ground. Bella stifled a giggle when Jacob and the others on his team began to whine at having lost. She quickly closed her mouth and froze, hoping no one had seen her. She was so depressed lately that any sound other than grunts or sighs seemed weird coming from her.

But the others were too concentrated on their game to pay her any attention. Before the mess with her father, Bella would have felt left out but now she felt nothing but gratitude. This gave her some semblance of normalcy. They weren't coddling her, or pausing their game every other minute just to check and make sure she was okay. It made her feel at ease enough to take off her shoes and sit back on the rock, soaking up the sun and watching the volleyball game.

On more than one occasion Bella found herself holding back laughs as the guys threw good-natured insults at each other. Jacob took the brunt of them because of his height and strength and she was surprised to find out just how popular he was with his friends. Jacob laughed at all of them and threw insults back at everyone else, but none of them meant what they were saying. And without knowing it, Jacob and his friends had succeeded in taking Bella's mind off everything that had happened to her.

Once, about halfway through their game, Jacob looked up at Bella and smiled at her. Without thinking about it, she smiled back. Jacob's grin grew wider when he saw it then turned back to his game.

Bella's smile widened as well, and she was about to lean back and close her eyes, fully relaxed for the first time in a long time, when she saw him.

He stood off in the distance, just out of the boys' lines of vision. His hair fluttered slightly in the breeze as he stood casually. His hands were in the pockets of his jeans and he wore a long sleeved blue shirt that didn't look right on him. It was almost as if he were trying too hard to fit in.

But when Bella looked at him, she was up in an instant and hurried towards him. The sand felt good between her toes and between that and her sun-soaked skin, she felt as if she was glowing.

And that, she realized as soon as she was close enough to see him properly, was exactly what Edward was doing.

He stared at her, his golden eyes drawing her own eyes to him through what felt like a magnetic pull. She smiled at him, taking a step closer to him. He smiled back, but it was small and didn't quite make it to his eyes.

"Hi, Edward," she said softly.

"Hello, Bella."

"What...what are you doing here?" she asked, unsure why she felt so hesitant. They'd seen each other every night for what felt like her entire life, and there had never been any awkwardness between them.

And that was because she'd never seen him during the day before, she realized. Or anywhere except her bedroom. Seeing him during the day, on La Push beach was the last thing she expected, and she felt as though she were talking to someone else.

"That's not so easy to explain," he replied, looking away from her and gazing down at the volleyball game in the distance. "But I had to see you."

"Really?" Bella couldn't help the smile his words caused.

"Yes, love." Edward paused and sighed. "I had to make sure you were okay."

Bella frowned and moved to stand in front of him. She searched his eyes, suddenly worried. "Why? Is something wrong?"

Edward sighed again, as though he couldn't figure out the best way to say what he needed to. "I...I'm not sure," he finally said, but it wasn't near enough to appease Bella.

"Not sure? About what? Edward, you're scaring me. You've never come to me outside of my room before and I just..."

"Shh," Edward interrupted, raising a hand to push a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. "Please don't worry, beautiful girl. Nothing is wrong."

"Then why..." Bella couldn't quite get the words out.

"I just wanted to give you some good news. I couldn't wait until tonight to tell you."

"Tell me what?" Bella's heart skipped a beat at the possibilities.

Then, without warning, Edward's face erupted in a huge grin. "Soon it will be safe for you to come with me. I want so much for you to meet my family."

It took Bella's mind a minute to catch up to Edward's words. She frowned, blinked, then slowly smiled, afraid it was too good to be true. "Really, Edward? You aren't joking?"

Edward laughed. "No, I am not joking. It's still too soon, but hopefully I will be able to take you away from all your troubles. You just have to hold out a little while longer."

"I really hope you aren't messing with me, because I've..."

She was interrupted by Edward's firm grip on her shoulders. He waited until she looked up into his eyes before he spoke again. "I'm not messing with you. I promise this isn't a joke, or otherwise. It will soon be safe for you and I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to it. You won't have to worry about your father, or Billy, or anyone else."

Bella threw her arms around his neck before she could stop herself. All thoughts of Jacob, the volleyball game, and the good mood it had put her in were gone. Now all she could concentrate on were thoughts of Edward taking her away from her pitiful existence.

"Will I see you tonight?" she finally asked as Edward wrapped his arms around her in a comforting embrace.

"Of course, love. Don't I visit you every night?" he laughed.

Bella smiled. "I just wanted to make sure."

They stayed like that for what felt like ages before Edward finally pulled away first. "I must go now, but I'll see you tonight. Just keep being strong for me and whatever you do, do not let on that you saw me today. Try to act normally."

Bella nodded. "Okay." When she went to look up at Edward, she found he was already gone.

But it must've been a sign that she was in an extremely good mood because the fact that he left without saying goodbye did not bother her as it usually would. She turned around and began walking back to the beach, trying to hide the ecstatic smile that she felt would stay there for the rest of her life.

* * *

><p>AN: I know I'm awful for not updating for SO long. I feel horrible. But I wanted to update and tell you (if there's anyone still reading this story) that I have not forgotten about you. I do plan on keeping up with this story and the others. Please review and let me know if you're still reading, and what you thought about the chapter.


	4. My Guilty Conscience

**3. **

Billy greeted them when they returned home. "Hey, guys. How was the beach?" Though the question was directed at both of them, his eyes fixed on Bella.

Bella shrugged while Jacob answered. "It was great! A bunch of guys were there and we played volleyball. Until Embry threw the ball in the ocean. After that it got kind of boring."

"Did Bella join you?" Billy asked.

Bella glanced at her godfather and blushed involuntarily when she noticed him still looking at her. She looked at the ground and waited for Jacob to answer.

"No, she watched."

"Did you invite her?" Billy demanded. It was impressive how intimidating he could manage to be while in a wheelchair.

Sensing a fight, Bella quickened her pace and hurried inside the house. Logically she knew that Billy would never hit Jacob, but all her years with Charlie made her uneasy around angry people. She hoped that neither of them would notice her absence but didn't stop walking until she was in her room. Only when she was safely alone did she breathe a small sigh of relief. She laid down on Rebecca's old bed and closed her eyes.

Edward had said she could go with him! The memory of him on the beach with her brought a smile to her face. He didn't wait until tonight to tell her. Did that mean he expected her to be ready? Was he going to take her away tonight? The thought filled her with a burning anticipation she didn't even know she still had.

She got off the bed and took out her suitcase from under the bed. She flung it on the bed and opened it, throwing as many of her clothes into it as she could. The photo of her with her parents and her battered copy of _Wuthering Heights _soon followed.

When she'd crammed as much of her stuff into it as she could she zipped the suitcase up and pushed it back under her bed, just in case Billy or Jacob paid her a surprise visit. The task didn't take up as much time as she thought, so she was left with nothing to do and more free time than she'd planned.

She contemplated going into the kitchen for a glass of water but she didn't want to run into either of them. While she knew their intentions were good, she didn't want them feeling the need to ask her twenty questions about her well being.

But it seemed her worry was for nothing, because a minute later there was a knock at her door.

Managing to suppress her sigh, Bella said, "Come in."

The door opened and Billy wheeled himself in to the room. Bella stepped back near the window to make more room for him. She watched him look around and saw immediately what he did: Rebecca's bedsheets, Rebecca's posters, Rebecca's books, Rebecca's decorations. There was nothing in the room that suggested Bella lived here at all.

Aside from the packed suitcase under the bed, but Bella had made sure that was well out of eyesight.

"You know you can decorate this room to your liking," Billy stated, parking himself by her bed. It wasn't a question.

Bella nodded stiffly.

"Because I don't see either of my daughters coming back to live here any time soon," he continued, and turned to look at her. Bella fought not to squirm.

He watched her, as though he expected her to say something, but Bella had no idea what to say. She could hardly tell him that she wouldn't be here the next day. And any reassurance didn't seem good enough to tell him.

"Why don't you sit down?" Billy patted the mattress next to him and smiled at her, though it looked strained and tired. For the first time Bella noticed the bags under his eyes and wondered when the last time that her godfather had gotten a good night's sleep was.

"Okay." Bella barely whispered the word as she moved away from the window and sat down on the edge of the bed. It was a little closer to Billy than she was comfortable with but she didn't want to hurt his feelings by scooting farther away from him.

She could feel his eyes on him and wondered what he wanted to say. She figured it would be along the same lines as their conversations usually went. He would want to know how she was handling everything that was going on; she'd say she was fine; Billy would persist and ask if there was anything she needed; Bella would say no. She was fine.

"So did you have a good time at the beach?" He finally asked after another moment of silence. "Please be honest."

Bella nodded vigorously. "I did. Mostly I watched Jacob and his friends play volleyball, but it wasn't that bad. They're fun to watch."

"Well, Jacob was under the impression that you wanted to be alone, but he felt bad about it. And I've got to say that you are spending a lot of time up here by yourself. You know you can always join us, right?"

Bella looked up at him and was surprised to find pain in his chocolate brown eyes. "I feel like I'm neglecting you, and I don't want you to feel that way," he continued, guilt the prominent emotion in his voice. "Your father and I were best friends. Before you came here, I was worried that you might think..." He trailed off, unable to continue.

"I might think you what?" she asked before she could stop herself. It was obvious that whatever Billy had been about to say wasn't easy for him.

Billy looked up at her again, meeting her eye once more. "I had no idea he was capable of doing anything like that to you." His words were soft, as though he was embarrassed to say them. "He wasn't always like that, back when you still lived here. He was the best father I knew. A great man." He paused, and for a moment Bella thought he wasn't going to say anything else, but then he continued. "When you moved in, it had been so long since we last saw each other. And then when you began to keep your distance I thought you might think...well, I'm not going to end up being another disappointment to you. I was afraid that you might think that, and especially since you seemed to stay away from Jacob and me. I don't think I ever told you that we weren't going to do anything other than provide you a good home until after you graduate. I just wanted you to know."

Bella was dumbfounded. Of all the things she'd been expecting him to say, that wasn't one of them. Deep down she knew that he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. She wanted to say that wasn't the reason she'd been keeping her distance. But she couldn't seem to get the words out.

"I do know," she finally managed to get out. She was surprised at how choked up her words were. "I'm sorry if I'm coming across as distant. I really don't mean to be."

Billy's smile was warmer than Bella had ever seen it. "We know you're going through a lot," he said, his voice full of compassion. "We understand if you need some time to yourself. But maybe from now on, Jacob and I can do a better job of including you and you could come out and spend a little bit of time with us. I hate the thought of you feeling so alone here. We're here for you if you ever need anything."

Bella smiled, and for once it wasn't forced or tight. "Thanks. And I promise I'll try harder."

"That's all I'm asking for. I don't think I've told you this enough, but I think you're doing great." Then he stops, as if he's embarrassed, then wheels himself back. "Well, I'll leave you be. Dinner will be in a couple hours, but if you feel like coming out before that, please do."

And with one final smile, Billy left Bella's room.

Bella sighed, feeling like a leaden weight had just dropped into the pit of her stomach. Why did Billy feel the need to say all this _now? _The night, of all nights, when Edward was finally taking her away? She knew she was going to feel guilty for leaving the Blacks, but it couldn't be helped. She'd been looking forward to leaving with Edward for so long that it felt engrained in her. She _had _to do this, no matter what.

So why wouldn't the heavy feeling of guilt leave her?

* * *

><p>That night at dinner Jacob and Billy made a huge effort to involve Bella in their conversation. Bella wished they wouldn't but she couldn't ask them not to, especially after her talk with Billy earlier. She knew she was going to be expected to hold up her end of the bargain, so she smiled at them and answered their questions as politely as she could.<p>

"I was thinking of going to Port Angeles tomorrow. You know, to look for some parts I need. Did you want to come with? I can take you to the bookstore or something. If you want," Jacob suggested rather sheepishly.

Bella wanted to close her eyes and wish up a black hole to swallow her up. "Yeah, Jake," she said, using her old nickname for him for the first time. "That'd be great."

She didn't think his triumphant smile could get any wider.

When they were finished and Bella had all the spaghetti she could handle, she offered to do the dishes.

"You don't have to, I really don't mind..." Billy started.

"Please, Billy," Bella interrupted, giving him an apologetic look for doing so. "I want to. To make up for being so distant."

She couldn't tell him that it would ease some of her guilt for leaving. She just continued to stare into his eyes, hoping she looked as hopeful as she felt.

Billy smiled. "Of course, Bella. I'd really appreciate it."

Billy and Jacob put their empty plates in the sink while Bella turned on the water, waiting for it to get hot. Before he left, Jacob said that he and Billy were going to watch a movie. "Did you want us to wait for you?"

Bella bit her lip, torn. She did, but she also didn't want to keep Edward waiting just in case he came early. She shook her head. "No, that's okay. Maybe when I'm finished I'll come in."

Jacob nodded, apparently not going to argue with her, and left for the living room.

Bella turned back to the sink and began cleaning up, surprised at how relieved she felt at doing such a familiar task. She'd done the dishes three times a day when she was still living with her father, and she'd hated it every single time. As she washed the dishes, then the pots, she couldn't shake the feeling that always came over her whenever she did the dishes. They had to be perfect. They had to be perfect, or else Charlie would see them and beat her for not doing them perfectly. If there was one thing Charlie strived for, it was perfection. Maybe that was why she'd never been able to meet his standards. She certainly wasn't perfect in his eyes.

Maybe that was why Bella let her old habits return. After every dish she cleaned, she inspected it and rewashed it, even if there was nothing wrong with it. It made doing a task that should've only taken a few minutes last close to half an hour. Bella felt frustrated with herself, but she didn't know how to stop from doing it.

When she was finally finished she dried her hands on the towel hanging from the oven handle then quickly wiped the stove. When she was finished she was satisfied to see that it looked spotless. Maybe Billy would remember her as doing her share when he woke up the next morning and noticed that she was gone.

She passed the living room on her way to her bedroom. She hoped to be quiet enough that they wouldn't notice her, but Jacob called out, "Bella!" the moment she came into view.

"We aren't that far into the movie. Only the big car chase has happened so far. Do you want to watch?" Bella hated the hopefulness in Jacob's voice. It made the small amount of guilt she'd been able to get rid of earlier return with full force.

She shook her head, refusing to meet his eyes. "No, thanks. I'm tired. I'll probably just go to bed."

"Okay. See you later, then." The disappointment in his tone was unmistakable.

Hating herself, Bella looked down and hurried down the hallway to her room, closing and locking the door behind her. She was a little disappointed to see that Edward wasn't there yet, but it was still early. He usually came much later.

Still, Bella dragged her full suitcase out from under her bed and placed it gently by the desk near the window. She wanted to be ready when Edward came for her.

Not up for doing anything else, Bella laid down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She couldn't help but wonder where she'd be going. She knew Edward had some kind of family because he'd mentioned them before. He'd told her that they were very excited to meet her. Did they live close by, or somewhere farther like Seattle or even Oregon? She didn't relish the thought of going back to Seattle, but she would if that's where Edward lived. He'd gone to her every night for as long as she could remember. That had to mean he was close.

* * *

><p>Bella didn't remember dozing off, but the next thing she was aware of was a cold hand on her shoulder. Her eyes snapped open and she jumped involuntarily at the touch.<p>

"Shh. I didn't mean to scare you," Edward said softly.

"Edward!" She couldn't help but exclaim as she shot up from her bed and wrapped her arms around him. She couldn't remember being this excited to see him since she was a little girl. "I'm so glad you're here. Where are we going?"

Edward chuckled a little, though it sounded forced. She couldn't remember him ever sounding like that before. "Patience, Bella. Are you ready to go yet, or do you need a few minutes to get ready?"

Bella pointed to the suitcase in answer. Edward turned to look at it, and for some reason a sad smile came over him. "Okay, then. Let's go. Do you want to leave a note for Billy? It wouldn't be right to make him worry over nothing."

Bella hadn't thought of that. "Yeah, sure. I won't be long."

She quickly rummaged through the desk and came up with a small notepad and a pen. She scribbled a note on the paper, her chicken scratch even worse than normal because of her rush.

_Billy, _

_I've gone to live with a friend. Please don't worry about me. He's a great guy, like you, and I hate myself for leaving you like this. But I have to do this. Maybe I'll see you again. _

_Sorry. Thanks for everything. _

_Bella_

She didn't show the note to Edward. Instead she folded it and placed it on top of her pillow where Billy was most likely to find it. When she was done she turned back to Edward. He was staring out the window, Bella's suitcase clutched in his right hand.

"Okay. I'm ready now," Bella said to get his attention. He turned to face her, smiling again, but it wasn't as bright as it normally was. Bella was confused but didn't want to ask him. She was too happy about him finally taking her with him. Wherever he lived.

Edward offered her his left hand. "Hold on tightly. And whatever you do, don't let go."

Bella put her hand in his. He gently led her on top of her desk, which he usually jumped over to get to the window, then crouched by the window.

"Do you trust me?" he asked.

Bella nodded. "Of course."

"Then hold on tight." And the next thing she knew, he'd jumped from her window, still holding her hand, and landed on a sturdy tree branch outside. Before Bella could ask him anything, he jumped again, and they were gone.

**So she's finally gotten her wish. But will it turn out as happily as she thought it would? **


End file.
